grief, its been 3 months now

A stressful, chaotic 3 months. So, we’ve moved. *huge sigh of relief*.

That whole process was stressful, but I’m glad its over. We arrived in town on the 15th and got the keys to our house the next morning. That was exciting. Tony and I went straight to work renovating the house while we waited for our stuff to arrive. Priority was the floors, especially while the house was empty. We thought a lot about refinishing the floors, but being that they were very thin and really in rough shape, we decided to go with a really nice laminate flooring.

We are so pleased at the results. We’re also not terribly experienced with power tools and such, but we did it, and it looks good. We did a lot of research, calling Tony’s dad with questions, and watching videos online. That experience has given us courage to look into renovating other small things in the house.

I should probably show you before and after pictures of the living room. ugly living room

The previous owners were all about accent walls. There was this ugly forest green wall in the dining room area, and then really weird tan beige flesh coloured walls everywhere else. The basement also has an accent wall, but those colours aren’t hideous.

new floors

We’re expecting our couch to be delivered on tuesday, and then I shall show an after pictures. Right now our living room is sans couches. There are three sad dining room chairs circling the tv. This does not make for comfortable relaxing or entertaining. Very much looking forward to couch delivery day! Yay!

House Hunting Trip


The kids and I flew out to Kingston last week to go house hunting with Tony. It was their first time on an airplane. They were both excited to fly, but Lucas had a bit of fear about it. He kept telling me he didn’t want to do loop de loops. I kept telling him no, we don’t do that.

His fear of flying became more apparent when we boarded the plane. The kids were following me through the air bridge to the plane, and we get to the door of the plane where theres a gap between the plane and the bridge, he stops, and starts to whimper. I go to take his hand and walk with him beside me, and he bursts into tears. The gap scared him, the whole being on a plane scared him, and I held his hand and pulled him along to our seats while he’s sobbing about being so scared. All the flight attendants smiled at him and reassured him. We got seated and he frantically fought to get his seat belt on, even with me telling him not to worry about that yet (they do this in the car when you turn it on before they are belted in). I got him settled and offered my special “take off candy” in the form of a ring pop. He also very much loved the idea of TV right at his seat. By the time we got going, he was all good to go and didn’t even care that we were up in the air.


This girl loved flying and loved looking out the window. Each kid had a turn flying in the window seat.

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When we were getting off the plane, the stewardess was telling the kids how good they were on their first flight, and the pilot perked right up and was like FIRST FLIGHT!!! COME HERE GUYS AND SEE THE COCKPIT! He was so excited to show them the buttons and things on the plane. Very cool pilot, very cool indeed.

So, we arrived in Ottawa, and Tony was there waiting. The kids were overjoyed to see daddy, and promptly left me to schlep the luggage around while they both fought to hold daddy’s free hand. They ended up both holding one of this hands together, and it was good.


Time change and flying is hard work. 5 minutes from the airport they were passed out.


We went house hunting, looked at many places. More on that later. This pic of sadie and the dandelion was taken by Lucas. The phone was a good distraction for them while we were looking at houses. They loved taking pictures.

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The Works in the downtown part of kingston was delicious. We loved it and its delicious burgers. I got broccoli because I was so sick of french fries by this time.

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They had the best time together. Playing Go Fish, swimming in the pool, and driving around with us.


Also, Screamers! I’ve never had one of these until now. They were delicious and were great for our country drive.

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There are beautiful parts of southern ontario. Next time I’ll bring my big camera and make Tony stop so I can take pictures of things, just like my dad.


On our way back home, we bought strawberries, and they were the best tasting ones I’ve ever had. Whoever told me this was so right.


That was Chilliwack outside the window of our plane, that glimmer of lights.


The night we got home, Lucas had stayed up until 11 pm, and then was awake at 6. I had him sleep with me, but I ended up being evicted because feet, in my face. He slept an hour and a half more before appearing upstairs.

Soooo, I didn’t forget about the part of this trip that was our purpose of going. We did find a house we liked, its half a duplex. We’ve got an accepted offer, and right now we’re waiting on a home inspection and such. That happens this week. So, we’re praying that everything goes well and if it does, we will move mid September. The reason for September is that Tony will be deployed for the month of August and can’t be here to oversee the move.

So, we’re excited, and hopefully things go well with the home inspection.

Garden update!


Look at that pretty feathery dill! Its grown so much. I love it. When I go to the garden, I usually pet it before I head out to the tomatoes.


So, after petting the dill, I prune off the suckers from the tomatoes. They’re all blossoming nicely.


This turkey isn’t supposed to be shimmying across the garden beds, but he was looking at the beans with me. They’re slow this year, but they’re getting there.

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Theres random dill in the middle of the beans.


The beets are looking mighty good over here.


Carrots are happy. We planted a few more where a cat dug them up. Dumb cats.

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So, these are potato plants that were missed last year. They’re just so happy over here.


There are 2 tomatoes of the defiant variety.


Thats my rosemary. Its huge. I am hoping to bring him with me when we move. I think he’s hearty enough to withstand moving.

Trust and Control (or lack thereof) and how things worked out

Are you a go with the flow kind of person? Well, if so, I envy you. I am not one of those people. I am queen of making plans, of lists, of controlling/planning things. I love planning birthday parties, camping trips, family bbq’s, and all that stuff. I love making lists for cleaning, and groceries, I like to meal plan.

This last year has really pushed me outside my comfort zone in that I’ve had to relinquish control of a lot of things. I shall tell you this, you’d think that after a year of learning to be out of control, I’d be used to it. Yes and no. This last year has been hard. The military life has shown me how unpredictable things get, and try as I might, I just cannot plan for every situation that will happen. We were approaching the end of his course, and even though we  didn’t know where we would be posted, we had a few ideas. So, in my infinite wisdom, I tried researching all the places we might be headed.

What schools do they have?

Whats the cost of living?

What can we afford?

Whats transit like?

It started getting overwhelming, but I persisted, because I felt like I needed to contribute to this situation somehow. I felt like it would only be fair to try and help research where we might be headed. I learned the hard way that it was just not worth it. My body started reacting to stress of the overwhelming situation in a way I had not experienced. It was horrible. So, I looked at the situation and realized that I cannot be in control, and I let God back into the drivers seat.

Pretty sure my prayer was this:  I cannot do this, physically or mentally. You know what we need, and you will put us where we need to be. You’ve got this. I will trust in you.

I prayed this a lot, amongst other things.

So, the weeks leading up to his posting were about trying not to stress. I read many books to distract myself, watched mindless tv, prayed and noticed my mental and physical states were improving.

Tony went through stressful exams and graduated his course. The thing he had been working towards for the last year was finished. The whole day I was on pins and needles because he would finally get his posting. It wasn’t until later in the evening for him that he was able to briefly text me one word : Kingston.

My jaw hit the floor. Kingston was an army base, not airforce. It wasn’t on our radar at all. I think it shocked him as much as it shocked me.

I was elated, and I’ll tell you why.

While visiting Tony there in March, I vividly remember driving with him through the city and sighing and tell him I wish it was possible to be posted here because it feels so much like home. It was a weird feeling, because I had been there for less than a week, and I felt so comfortable there.

He told me that he really liked it there too, but that we should focus on places we were likely to be posted to, and Kingston was not ever on our radar.

So, this is why my jaw dropped after reading that text. I almost thought it was a mistake. When he was able to, he called and we talked about his new posting, and it was no mistake. God found us a place where I’d be most at home.

I told Tony what I had been praying for in the last few weeks and he chuckled and jokingly said “So you’re to blame for where we’re going.”

Pretty cool story, eh?

Garden 2016

Whoa, I’m still here. Still haven’t moved yet. Thats ok, its just slow progress, but it will happen.

Anyways, it hasn’t stopped me from gardening with my dad this year.  We’ve planted all kinds of things this year.

We’ve got dill, tomatoes, peppers, beans, parsley, rutabagas, beets, carrots and a few renegade potatoes and one onion (from last year).


IMG_7730 IMG_7731 IMG_7732 IMG_7733 IMG_7734 IMG_7735 IMG_7736 IMG_7737 IMG_7739We’ve had wonderful weather so far. The only thing that has been frustrating are the little black bugs that eat my beans and tomatoes. The beans have struggled more this year to start, but I’m not giving up.

we’re moving

Tony has graduated his course! YAY!

Big sigh.

We’re so excited, because this means we’ll be reunited quite shortly. Its been a long year and a half. Lots of skype, phone calls, and coordinated tv watching. We’re still dealing with much stress and uncertainty, because you know, the military likes to keep you on your toes.

We know where we’re headed, but thats it for now. We’re posted across the country in Kingston Ontario. We don’t have any dates for when yet.

Once we know a timeline, I expect things to go quickly, but I have been wrong before. I’ve been talking to the kids about everything. They haven’t grasped the fact that we’ll be very far away from our families. They’re just ecstatic that we’re moving back with daddy and will possibly get a bird again.

So, for now I’m surrounded by boxes and stuff half packed. Its like a cardboard castle in my room.

hello again

Tony’s training is coming close to the end, and with that brings up the question “Where will you be posted?”. If only we knew. I don’t mind that people ask. Its the most asked question I get these days. We still don’t know, and won’t until May 11th. That is the day Tony graduates, and celebrates, and then finds out where he’s going.

I researched a bunch of the places we might be posted, but due to a lot of stress, and my body not handling it well, I’ve stopped researching for now. I will when we know for sure so I can narrow it down to a specific location. So, May 11th!

The kids have been doing so well . They have their ups and downs just like I do. Sadie in the last few weeks has been really sad about missing her daddy. We made a countdown for when he’s finished training, and that has helped immensely. We also had about 2 weeks where he was out in the field and couldn’t barely call, and so he couldn’t talk to the kids. That was hard for them. They love seeing him on skype, and finally were able to see him on there yesterday.

They are actually visiting their Aunty Beth and Nana this weekend. Lucas packed his bag the day before yesterday, and had packed movies, and puppets (paper bag puppets he made for a puppet show). They have been really interested in doing those lately. The “one little monkey jumping on the bed” is their favourite.

I finally got my hands on some sewing machine oil, and worked on Gertrude. She’s so quiet now, and runs so smoothly. Its hard because I so badly want to sew all the things with her, and yet, I shouldn’t buy too much more fabric because I need to pack it all up eventually. Last move, I packed my sewing stuff too early, and I go to it when I need a break, and when I needed a break, it was gone. So I’m going to try and not do that, but I still can’t leave it all to the last minute, so I’ll be needing some good books to read to keep me calm.

Also, as a way to relax and not stress to hard, I’ve been reading books more often. I found 2 at the local used book store that I had never read, 2 of the little house on the prairie books. Totally thought I had read them all. Well, that was quite a treat. Since then, I ploughed through the other ones in the series, and loved it. Totally need to find some more easy read stuff that is light or funny or both. Maybe its time to re read Harry Potter.